Personal: Less of me

Well, that is the intention, hopefully it will become the reality.

I have been putting off dealing with my weight for a long time. However, I had decided at the end of the summer that after our holiday in Cornwall would have to be the time.

The history of my weight is mixed up heavily with my period of illness. Before I started my descent I was overweight – no doubt about that – but not grossly so. My weight fluctuated up and down a bit as well with the seasons, going up in winter and down in summer. However as my descent began I started to do a lot of comfort eating. Some people feast on chocolate, or sweets, or chips (fries to the yanks), or something similar. My weakness however has always been for crisps. One bag of crisps always comes in a 12-bag multipack, or something similar.

Then I had my period of breakdown, and I stopped leaving the house. I didn’t stop eating – if anything I ate even more, at times furiously. It doesn’t take much imagination to work out the combination of an almost total loss of exercise combined with a massive eating of crisps, bacon sandwiches, and other such things will do to a waistline. Then my medication changed – successfully – at the price of slowing my metabolism and therefore making me more susceptible to weight gain. Over the course of the next year I expanded in physical mass by at least 50%.

While I obviously regret putting on so much weight, I should say I do not view this as entirely negatively. There are many possibilities for substance abuse when one is utterly depressed and with nothing to do (and nothing to hope for). With plentiful alcohol and tobacco (ignoring for the moment illegal thrills) to sample, I choose food, which is probably the most forgiving of all.

Of course, losing weight is easier to say than done. My first attempt was a complete failure. I waited another year, and the second attempt worked. My weight dropped over the course of a year by about 6 stone. Things looked good, but then I got a jolt from the blue which totally overthrew my equilibrium. I fell in love.

My wife and I have both put on quite a bit of weight since we first met. In particular after she moved over here we just proved incapable of keeping up with the rigors of a diet initially. We were so happy at finally being together, each and every day, we just had a very long celebration. Then we were married, and learned we were to become parents, and then started to learn all about being parents … well, to be frank we kept putting it off.

This summer though we have been talking about it more. There will be a cost of all this extra mass, and we both want to have as long and healthy a life as we can manage. After all, we want to see as much of Melian’s life as we can. It didn’t seem entirely wise to start losing weight just before two holidays though, so we put the date as last week.

I must say it was with some trepidation I got on the scales that first time – with some justification. For those who like old-fashioned money, as it were, I came in at 3lbs and 3cwt – or 24 stone 3 pounds (1 stone = 14 lbs). However, it could have been worse. I am, I think, no heavier at least than I was at my worst in the year or so following my illness – and since I am more active I actually feel much healthier than I did back then.

The first week has gone reasonably well. The scales regarded a very flattering 8 pounds lost, which is real enough but something of a mirage. Every time I have started to lose weight the first week or two has a big drop as my body re-adjusts water content and the like.

The important thing though is that we are really trying hard to avoid the concept of diet. This has to be for the long haul – for a lifetime. This is more lifestyle change than diet. I think in the long run this may mean slower weight loss. Hopefully it will also mean more permanent weight loss. The one exception has to be crisps. Time has proven that I just cannot control having crisps now and then, or one bag at a time. It is all or nothing, so it has to be nothing.

I hope it is not too forward of me, but wish me luck.

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3 comments
  1. Bernard said:

    Don’t rush the losing of weight or all of the lost kilos will come back, with friends.
    That said: good luck!!

  2. Ernie said:

    I recommend you make this a family affair, and spend lots of time walking outside with your wife. The exercise along with controlling your diet will provide the longest dividends. I hope you and your wife achieve your weight loss goals.

    • stnylan said:

      Thank you. That is indeed what we will be trying to do, albeit more in the spring. The weather right now is not really convenient for long walks 🙂

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