Eight weeks ago, I became a father. It seems such a long time ago.
This morning, I was playing with Melian, and I tried to imagine what it was like not to be her father. I could not.
This is not to say I cannot my life last year, or anything like that. It is difficult to explain, but Melian is now so central to my life the idea of Melian not being in my life is somehow alien. It is almost as if Melian has always existed. Or something. As I say, it is hard to explain.
This last week or so Melian has also really started to be more than just a baby. A baby does not really do all that much, but now Melian interacts far more with the world about her. We play games now. We laugh and smile at each other. She has been fascinated by some of the Olympics we have watched, where there is lots of movement and colour – but nothing beats the horses. She loves watching the horses. So much so my wife and I are seriously considering recording a segment to play back to her in the coming months. Proof:
The above was the eventing dressage.
Also, I have now fed her from a bottle with some expressed milk, and I can honestly say it is one the most precious moments of my life, that first time I helped to feed my daughter.
The sleep situation is much improved. Melian does not sleep through the night precisely, but does tend to have one or two long periods of sleep (over 4 hours, sometimes as long as 6), so we are doing much better on the tiredness front too; and, as you will be able to note from this blog, been getting more gaming done. I will not say that life is returning to normal – because life now is nothing like it was in the past. Rather we are starting to discover what our new life together, all three of us, actually means. It is a wonderful journey of discovery.